Frequently Asked Questions

Have a question? We have an answer...maybe. If you can't find what you're looking for, feel free to send us a message via our live chat or contact us here.

General Questions

That's not a question

Pretty dang big. On average they're about 5-7" tall by 2-3" wide. The sizes are also listed with the description of each ornament.

Some psychopath ordered 71

A real sick son of a bitch

Yes they are. Imagine the look on that poor Pornament painter's face when this order came through the factory 

We already made our production run for 2021. New Pornaments won't be available until Fall 2022. Feel free to pre-order so you don't miss out next year, or sign up for our email list. P.S. That wasn't a question either

You may have. A different company tried launching Pornaments a few years ago, but realized they were too hot to handle. So we put on our oven mitts and relaunched the brand in October 2019. 

Shipping & Returns

Shipping is a flat $6, but you can always choose to pay more for expedited shipping. Or buy more than $50 worth of ornaments and the shipping is FREE.

 So far only one person has asked to return their Pornaments (out of like a million orders), so think long and hard if you want to join their lowly rank. If the answer is still yes, then just shoot us an email within 30 days of the order being placed, and we'll send you instructions to return the ornament and refund your money (minus the cost of shipping).

Not yet, we are going to dominate the market for R Rated ornaments in the United States before spreading our filth across the rest of the world

We will ship them out in 1-2 business days. It's in God's hands beyond that.

Again, not a question, but email us at and we'll figure something out

Yes and no. We use regular cardboard shipping boxes without any text on it. The postage label will say Pornaments however, but you'd really have to look for it.