About Us

Pornaments was founded by some renegade elves who had a falling out with Santa. We wanted to go all in on e-commerce, he wanted to stick with brick-and-mortar. Well it turns out he's tired of reading all those letters and now he wants our help. Much easier to put all his inventory online and let people pick what they want for Christmas. 

Of course, building an online brand isn’t easy. The big fella thought people just “search for ‘Santa’” and his website will pop up. Silly Santa. But we’ve been there for him every step of the way. We consult him on how to best reach his audience using Google Ads, raise awareness through social media, and optimize his content for SEO. In return, he and his little helpers have graciously allowed us to use their likeness however we want. Letting us shamelessly exploit their renown to hawk novelty ornaments and gag gifts via our website.

Here at Pornaments we’re excited to introduce the world to the real Santa Claus, not the watered down version of him you see plastered all over big box retailers during the Christmas season. Santa Claus is a real person, with flaws, wants, needs, and sexual desires. Same goes for his merry band of misfits. It’s time to get to know them on a more personal level.

What happens in the North Pole, stays in the North Pole.

Team Pornaments

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